Tipping Points of Emotional Intelligence

Tipping points are interesting events that can change the environment and outlook of an individual.  While tipping points can be both positive and negative, I have personally experienced a negative tipping point in my life, particularly in my professional career.  While working for a major, nationwide pharmacy, I was a regional trainer that spend the majority of my duties on the road training and hiring new employees.  I had a pleasant manager who I initially got off on the right foot with and really worked hard to impress her with my new job duties and skills.  As time progressed throughout the year many instances, I was pulled between multiple managers to handle various tasks, particularly when I was visiting a specific area.  While during one visit, I was accused of not providing training to an employee and being at my “post.”  During this day, I was required to fire another employee for subordination and not presenting legal documentation to be eligible to work for the company.  I made it clear to my manager that I was busy firing an employee and was not able to provide the full training to the new employee that I supposed to be with during that week.  After careful and thoughtful communication my manager realized that I had made the proper decision and the issue was resolved.  As the year progressed, new claims against me continued to arise with my manager constantly bringing up the initial issue (the firing of the employee) that we had already resolved.  She claimed that we had never resolved the initial issue and that it was reflecting on my job performance.  Time and time again she would bombard me with her untruthful claims and the pressure continued to build in me, definitely more so in a negative way.  Boyatzis et al (2015) outlines that negative events produce larger, more consistent, more multifaceted, or more lasting effects than positive events.  The continuation of negative and false claims against me produced in me a greater desire of unpleasantness and detestation toward my boss.  The tipping point came on a hot, sunny August afternoon in Phoenix, Arizona when after a wonderful day of training, my manager approached me and gave me an ultimatum claiming that I was not putting forth an honest day’s work and leaving early to beat the traffic and brought up the initial claim stating that we had never came to an agreement.  I told her I would do better and to give me two weeks to prove myself.  However, my ulterior motive was to quit the following Monday, which I voluntarily did. To say I was hurt would be an understatement as I was a well-liked and effective trainer. I had a vision of how I could improve the company’s training program and boost industry sales.  I felt hurt due to an accumulation of negative emotions that constantly wore on me until I broke and did the unfathomable, which was to step away and look for a more positive environment to work in.  If I could have done things in a different light, I would have taken my issue and complaint to HR.  I, unfortunately, could not take my case to my manager’s boss as they were close friends with heavy bias toward each other.  However, HR could have assisted me and helped me to either resolve the issue and move forward or to find better employment within another department. In addition, I let my emotions get the best of me and I immediately stepped down without a plan.  I was grateful to find new employment quickly, however, it was dangerous to step away without a plan and to provide for a family.  It is important to not let the negative emotions take control and be the means of a tipping point in a professional environment and to allow thoughtful consideration before quitting from a job.  I’m glad that I have never been placed in that situation again but if I do, I know to not let negativity get the best of me and to work things out differently for the better.

Boyatzis, Richard, and Rochford, Kylie, and Taylor, Scott. (2015). The Role of the Positive Emotional Attractor in Vision and Shared Vision: Toward Effective Leadership, Relationships, and Engagement. Frontiers in Psychology, Volume 6. Page 670.

Getting Results: Becoming Emotionally Intelligent

A641.3.3 RB – Working with EI: Getting Results

The human being is a conglomeration of many various traits, aspects, and characteristics.  As humans, we are presented with many physicals opportunities that allow us to grow and become stronger.  These abilities are learned behaviors.  For instance, surgeons are miracle workers that save millions of lives each year.  Their articulate and precise actions during surgery can repair a broken heart valve, reduce swelling the brain, or even implant lenses into the back of the eye.  While it may seem difficult and challenging to perform, surgeons, through years of experience and years of residency, have trained their hand and finger muscles to perform the surgery almost to perfection.  This training of muscle coordination is what is considered muscle memory.  The same application is with our emotions as human beings.  Through years of training and practice, an individual can train their memory and increase their intelligence of emotions to handle stressful, over-joyous, and even difficult situations.  This memory allows individuals to be great leaders and to be a guide and help to those around them.  To achieve this memory of emotional intelligence, Dr. Daniel Goleman has implied that self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and social skills all play vital and crucial parts.  Self-awareness is the basic notion and idea that humans cannot undergo an experience without being conscious or aware of undergoing that experience in a sense to be explicated (Nida-Rumelin, 2017).  We must be aware of the situation that we are in to understand what is actually happening.  Leaders have gone through years of experience and been in precarious situations where they have become self-aware of the surroundings.  Knowing what worked to overcome the situation allows them to remember and be more self-conscious the next time a similar situation arises.  Self-management is not just about reacting to events, but to be creating and leading one’s own actions (Howe et al, 2013).  Having a solid understanding of composure during challenging times gives courage and confidence to those around them.  In addition, having experience emotionally during challenging times allows for good leaders to seek for new methods of solution and to accept the repercussions of their choices.  This self-management is healthy and, as said before, during trying times, allows leaders to not crumble but to stand poised and to be ready to make positive decisions to lead others.  The formation of positive social awareness in oneself allows for an individual to be accepting of others and be an individual that is easily approached.  In my life, I have known many managers who were so socially awkward that I steered clear of them. I had a previous manager who would bring her personal life into our work environment that was a little “too-much-information” to say the least.  Multiple times I almost sought out HR to discuss my feelings of discomfort. This was a challenge as my manager was not socially aware of her words and actions.  From those experiences, however, I have learned to not mimic hers and to be socially aware of my boundaries and to not cross a line that might be offensive or repulsive to another.  Being socially aware comes from the positive social skills that go hand-in-hand.  Developing positive social skills, a leader can come down to a level as their employees and give a sense of understanding.  In addition, it shows humility.  Humble leaders are excellent teachers.  In my personal life I try to be the social butterfly.  My skills allow me to reach people who at times were the most challenging individuals to work with.  Even through our difficult times at work, we still are friends and can always have a positive moment together.  That speaks a lot about good, emotionally intelligent leaders. I strive each day to do just that.  I feel that my social awareness and skills are my strong points. I feel that I could develop my self-management skills better, especially in times of deadlines and depression.  I suffer from mild depression that can hinder my self-awareness and management skills.  However, being a people person, I find that teaching others brings positive moments in my life and bring me out of those slumps.  I enjoy leading by teaching and being an example.  I hope that my efforts will continue to allow me to become more emotionally intelligent and that someday I can leader others to be successful managers, CEOs, and friends! 

References

Howe, Kate, Gray, Ivan, & Brown, Keith (2013). Chapter 4: The Management and Leadership of ‘self’ in Supervision. Effective Supervision in Social Work. Sage Knowledge. DOI: http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/10.4135/9781526401625.n4

Nida-Rumelin, Martine (2017). Self-Awareness. Review of Philosophy and Psychology. 8(1). Pgs. 55-82